So, does anyone else out there think it's a mad, mad, mad world??? I know for a fact that it is. I've seen the ugliness, the crassness, the selfishness. I've seen first hand hopes dashed, dreams lost, castles fallen. I've seen evil win. I've seen good beaten to the finish line.
BUT...I also know that out there somewhere is the opposite; true beauty, nobility and selflessness. A place where good survives regardless of it's surroundings. Where purity and refreshing honesty, though hopelessly outnumbered and out of sync with their surroundings, still shine through like a candle in the darkness.
Archaic terms, I know; survivors from another time, another place, long ago when things were simpler, people were more honest, goals more clear. When right and wrong were not so close together; the gray had not yet taken over and turned reality upside down.
Those of you who long for those days know what I'm talking about. Regardless of your age, whether old or young, you realize your ideals, your hopes, even your belief in your fellow man are hopelessly outdated and unrealistic according to those around you. You don't live in the real world, they say. Andy Griffith's Mayberry is long gone; Father Knows Best is a ridiculous thought, and Gilligan's Island was really just a giant orgy, no matter what you think the survivors did. And Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke...well, we won't even go there.
So what do you do, my antiquated friend of 20, 40 or 80?? Do you learn to "fit in"?? Do you change your modus operandi?? Do you give in to cynicism and lose faith in everything you hold dear?? No!!! You don't.
But how do you hang on to yourself in this situation? Life is soooo busy, so hurried. There isn't time, there are bills to pay, life is going by so very, very fast. But take heed; before you know it, it will be over, my friend. Our time here is a blink of any eye. As hard as it may seem, priorities must be named and stood by. How does that song go..."you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything..".
It's true. Let me tell you how I survive. Maybe it will work for you, maybe it won't. That's something you'll have to decide for yourself. First of all, I have children. Bunches of children. Some grown, some still small. How did I raise believers in good in this evil world??? How will they survive in a dog eat dog society? Here's my answer. They’ll survive. They’ll survive with grace, with light from within, with clear eyes and pure intentions. They’ll get knocked down, disappointed, discouraged…who doesn’t? And, of course, in a world of emos and pessimism, they'll stick out like a sore thumb. So what??? Is that such a bad thing, to be different in a world of tattoos, piercings, sex, drugs, alcohol, atheism…you name it??
Now I'm not saying you have to do the “Amish” thing. That's great, fine and dandy for the Amish; it’s worked for them for a long time now. But it would never fly around my house. I'm not saying you have to lock them in a room and force them to watch "The Sound of Music" 10,000 times. (Although if you've never seen it, it's a great place to start. Fix some popcorn and enjoy!)
It comes down to this. It's all about choices. You can't take children's choices away from them and make them all for them. You'll end up with weak minded followers waiting for someone to tell them what to do, and folks, it's probably not always going to be you. You want strong-minded children that aren't afraid to stand up for the decent and the good in the world, regardless of how unpopular it may be.The key to all this is SECURITY. Kids have to feel secure. The more security and the more self-esteem children have, the less likely they are to follow the crowd, the better they will feel about themselves, and the less likely they are to try to define themselves by seeking approval of their peers.
Some people go to extremes in the wrong direction, hoping to protect their children from that big, scary world. To an extent, yes, we have to. If we love them, we will be a buffer zone until such a time as they are mature enough to handle themselves. Unfortunately, these frightened folks think the way to accomplish all this is to wrap their kids up in cellophane, build a moat and a drawbridge, get a few Rottweilers to guard things, and separate them from the world outside. All you get from that particular sequence of events are maladjusted children who need someone to tell them what to do and how to do it for the rest of their lives. Once they're turned loose out in the big ole' world, and the scary newness wears off, you tend to have kids even wilder than the world you were protecting them from, nine times out of ten! I've seen it more times than I can count. You took away their choices, you took away their conflicts, you took away their chances to learn how to stand their ground and deal with what's around them firsthand. It's a growing thing, and they grew up without learning those very important lessons. Now you chunk them out there and expect them to learn to swim with sharks with no swimming lessons or life preservers. Good going.
Now I'm not harping on the home schooling crowd. Not at all! Home schooling can be great if, and that's a big IF, it is done correctly. If it is not used as an escape from the world. If you haven't dug a moat. Unfortunately, many people use it for exactly that, with an agenda of their own that would shock some more moderate, responsible home-schooling parents.
Teach your children how to make choices. Teach them logical reasoning processes, clear thinking, kindness and honesty. Let them know there is ugliness out there, and they are going to have to deal with it each and every day, and make more and more choices as they get older. Don't send them out to battle unprepared. Your children aren't cannon fodder.
Let me tell you, it takes time. Time, that precious commodity no one seems to have enough of. By the time mommy and daddy get done with their job, they are exhausted, they want to crash and watch the boob tube. Order McDonald's and forget it and make the world go away. So the kids go entertain themselves, with their electronic substitutes for real life and real activities. Video games, computer chat, cell phone conversations sunup to sundown. The next day it starts all over again. If our kids are lucky, all of us guilty, exhausted parents manage to drag them around to some after-school sports or activities.
Once again, I’m not harping on extra-curricular activities! They’re wonderful. They help our children figure out who they are in this world, and what they love to do, and what they are good at doing. But these activities are not a substitute for one-on-one quality time, any more than watching TV in the same room. So what’s the answer? Is there an answer? You bet there is.It’s so simple, it’s easy to miss. Here’s the big Numero Uno. Family dinners…at the table…together…television off. Conversation, stories, opinions, ideas…joys, sorrows. True, honest interaction from the heart. It doesn’t have to be every single night of the week. Start out twice a week and work up to whatever you can manage. If this is not the norm, it may seem awkward at first; but that will pass. I promise.
There may even be disagreements, sibling rivalry. That’s okay! Just don’t let it get out of hand; change the subject and don’t give up. It’s so very, very worth it. It’s the first stepping stone to bonding as a family all over again. And remember; the “Brady Bunch” was just a television show!
Don’t let it stop there. Keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be a trip to Disneyland. The things they will remember are the simple things you don’t think much about. Hide and seek in the dark. Catching fireflies. Picnics in the backyard. Collecting bugs. Telling ghost stories around a fire. Fishing trips to catch 4” fish. Trips to the lake, to the mountains. Exposing them to the theater, plays, dance, music. Reading as a family on a cold winter night in front of the fire. Tea parties. Sand castles. New puppies. Showing them there is indeed a big world out there and a lot of really awesome stuff in it. Appreciation for God's creation. Plant some flowers, some seeds with the kids. Pick the tomatoes you grow. Let them help with dinner. Make your own family traditions to hand down. It doesn't matter what they are. They are special to your family and make you unique and bind you together. For instance, one of ours is hotdogs and mac and cheese on Halloween night before trick or treating. Always done it, always will. It wouldn’t be Halloween otherwise.
Sports are great. They teach team concepts between your kids and the other kids, and help build relationships. But quality time with you is different. You be the one pitching the baseball, playing basketball with your kids. One of my favorite home-grown sayings is "it's not what you got, it's what you do with what you've got". Forgive the imprecise grammar. But the point is there.
Is that bigger house, fancy car, luxurious lifestyle worth trading for your children? They are only little for a little while. Your time with them is limited, and will be over in the wink of an eye. Don't be so busy you miss the important things. Get your priorities straight. Enjoy them now before it's too late. Cut back on the material have-to-haves. You'll never be sorry. It doesn't take money to have a wonderful relationship with your kids. It just takes time.
And believe me, it's an investment you'll never, ever regret.
By Sonya Percell http:sonyashomecooking.blogspot.com
http:containergardeningmadeeasy.blogspot.com
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Letter To My Daughter
****This is a letter I wrote to my daughter when she turned sixteen. I thought it was appropriate & wanted to share it with you all.****
Letter to My Daughter
You’re 16 today! It’s a special day for all of us, but most especially for you. There are a few things I’d like to say.
I’m very, very proud of you, and pretty well tell the whole world, of course...I can’t wait to see the woman you are becoming, and I can see her even now as I look at you. I don’t want to lose my little girl; nevertheless I am excited at the prospects before you and the mark you will make in your life. No matter where you go or what you eventually end up doing in your life, you will ALWAYS be my little girl, and I will always be here for you.
Always hold your head up. Be straight and tall and honest and beautiful...inside and out. Be proud of the wonderful, warm, unique individual you are. Your future lies before you, bright and shining. Your past lies behind you, hopefully full of warm and happy fuzzy moments of genuine caring and sharing with those you love. The past gives us a foundation for our future...and our future is exactly what we make it.
Remember, the glass is always at least half full for those who look for it, there are more good people than bad, rainbows always come after the rain, and roses continue to bloom in the spring...every spring.
There will be dark days. There’s no question about that. But what is a portrait without shading, without depth? It is the contrasts and oftentimes the shadows that make it interesting. Our life is like a portrait.
Right now, you’re striving to take on the responsibilities of young adulthood. Those are wonderful and necessary goals. Relax, you're going to do just fine.
Just be sure to always remember the really important things. Our love for our loved ones, our integrity, our belief in ourselves and most importantly, our hope and belief in our Lord and Savior, in whom we move, live and have our being.
And of course, butterflies. And puppies. Fuzzy puppies. And kittens. The smell after the rain, the colors in the fall, the beauty of a waterfall, and the sound of crickets and frogs. Flowers, waterponds, and hot homemade rolls with butter. A big, steaming pot of gumbo. A fire in the fireplace and a big patchwork quilt...with a cup of hot cocoa.
I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
I love you more than I know how to say.
Words fail me.
Love Always and Forever,
Mom
Letter to My Daughter
You’re 16 today! It’s a special day for all of us, but most especially for you. There are a few things I’d like to say.
I’m very, very proud of you, and pretty well tell the whole world, of course...I can’t wait to see the woman you are becoming, and I can see her even now as I look at you. I don’t want to lose my little girl; nevertheless I am excited at the prospects before you and the mark you will make in your life. No matter where you go or what you eventually end up doing in your life, you will ALWAYS be my little girl, and I will always be here for you.
Always hold your head up. Be straight and tall and honest and beautiful...inside and out. Be proud of the wonderful, warm, unique individual you are. Your future lies before you, bright and shining. Your past lies behind you, hopefully full of warm and happy fuzzy moments of genuine caring and sharing with those you love. The past gives us a foundation for our future...and our future is exactly what we make it.
Remember, the glass is always at least half full for those who look for it, there are more good people than bad, rainbows always come after the rain, and roses continue to bloom in the spring...every spring.
There will be dark days. There’s no question about that. But what is a portrait without shading, without depth? It is the contrasts and oftentimes the shadows that make it interesting. Our life is like a portrait.
Right now, you’re striving to take on the responsibilities of young adulthood. Those are wonderful and necessary goals. Relax, you're going to do just fine.
Just be sure to always remember the really important things. Our love for our loved ones, our integrity, our belief in ourselves and most importantly, our hope and belief in our Lord and Savior, in whom we move, live and have our being.
And of course, butterflies. And puppies. Fuzzy puppies. And kittens. The smell after the rain, the colors in the fall, the beauty of a waterfall, and the sound of crickets and frogs. Flowers, waterponds, and hot homemade rolls with butter. A big, steaming pot of gumbo. A fire in the fireplace and a big patchwork quilt...with a cup of hot cocoa.
I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
I love you more than I know how to say.
Words fail me.
Love Always and Forever,
Mom
Old Fashioned Fun for Children
**To My Readers; I didn't personally write this one, but it has marvelous ideas!**
Walk through any toy store and you will see walls and walls of toys that are loud -- toys that require batteries, have flashing lights, or that look like your child's favorite movie character. But, what about those of us who want to raise children with imagination and curiosity?I'll tell you what we do. We choose to fill our houses with some of the following old-fashioned items.
Books
No house can have enough books. Make sure your house has a representation of great Fiction Books and non-fiction books. A mix of the two is very important. Most homes have a deficit of non-fiction books, so fill your home with Science, History and Art books. Children need to learn to read and appreciate non-fiction books in order to do well in research when they reach higher levels of study.
Felt Boards
Children love to tell stories with felt. You'll need a feltboard to start. You can make your own board from a sheet of felt or purchase a board from one of the suppliers below. Once you have the board, let the fun begin. Go to a craft or fabric store and buy sheets of felt in all colors. Then, cut out shapes in all colors and sizes. (You'll be amazed at how quickly a child will make an alien, ship, house, or person out of nothing but a few circles, rectangles,and triangles.)
Blocks and Legos
Children can play for hours building towers, bridges, cities, creatures, and more with these toys that inspire creativity, patience, and small-motor skills. When the masterpiece is finished, have your child pretend to be a giant and smash through the blocks -- or grab a few small cars and drive around the new city! Be sure to name the city and have your child tell you all about it.
Art Supplies
Give your child some crayons, scissors, junk mail, and glue. He or she will be entertained for hours if given encouragement.Please SUPERVISE closely if you don't want your child to have a self-induced bad haircut or attach the dog to her artwork!
Puppets
Make puppets out of socks, paper bags, felt, cloth, or popsicle sticks. Make a stage and tell stories. Get out the video camera and capture your child's brilliance!
Musical Instruments
Whether your musical instruments are home-made with a comb and wax paper or store bought, making music is a wonderful way to spend the day. Teach your child that music can be made from anything, from an old oatmeal container, to scratching two pieces of sandpaper together. Go on a walk and just listen to the sounds of the world -- music is everywhere in our lives.
Dress-up Clothes
Get out old prom dresses, big hats, shirts and ties, old Halloween costumes (or buy extra pieces after Halloween for year-round fun!). Bring out a box of costumes and watch the shows with your children as the stars. Keep a camera handy to capture the fun. Also, keep an eye on the pets. Cats don't always appreciate wearing a sombrero. Trust me, I have the scars to prove it!
Doll-houses
There is nothing more fun than watching your child make up stories as the family members move around in a doll house. Plus, if it is a wooden dollhouse, there is the added benefit of decorating it with some wallpaper scraps and carpet remnants! Your dollhouse could be a family heirloom if you put enough love into it.
In the Kitchen
Kids love to play Kitchen, whether it is mixing air, or getting to play with food. Give your child a great time by giving them safe kitchen utensils to play with in the bathtub. Mixing, pouring, and scooping bubbles and water entertains my children long enough for them to look pruny. Or for a fun alternative, give them puffed rice cereal and some bowls and utensils on the kitchen floor. Just plan to vacuum afterwards as there'll be quite a wonderful mess!
About the Author
Nicole is the mostly-sane mom behind http://www.showmomthemoney.com/ . Nicole also owns http://www.showkidsthefun.com/ - a fun site to inspire parents to keep the lines of communication open with their children.
Walk through any toy store and you will see walls and walls of toys that are loud -- toys that require batteries, have flashing lights, or that look like your child's favorite movie character. But, what about those of us who want to raise children with imagination and curiosity?I'll tell you what we do. We choose to fill our houses with some of the following old-fashioned items.
Books
No house can have enough books. Make sure your house has a representation of great Fiction Books and non-fiction books. A mix of the two is very important. Most homes have a deficit of non-fiction books, so fill your home with Science, History and Art books. Children need to learn to read and appreciate non-fiction books in order to do well in research when they reach higher levels of study.
Felt Boards
Children love to tell stories with felt. You'll need a feltboard to start. You can make your own board from a sheet of felt or purchase a board from one of the suppliers below. Once you have the board, let the fun begin. Go to a craft or fabric store and buy sheets of felt in all colors. Then, cut out shapes in all colors and sizes. (You'll be amazed at how quickly a child will make an alien, ship, house, or person out of nothing but a few circles, rectangles,and triangles.)
Blocks and Legos
Children can play for hours building towers, bridges, cities, creatures, and more with these toys that inspire creativity, patience, and small-motor skills. When the masterpiece is finished, have your child pretend to be a giant and smash through the blocks -- or grab a few small cars and drive around the new city! Be sure to name the city and have your child tell you all about it.
Art Supplies
Give your child some crayons, scissors, junk mail, and glue. He or she will be entertained for hours if given encouragement.Please SUPERVISE closely if you don't want your child to have a self-induced bad haircut or attach the dog to her artwork!
Puppets
Make puppets out of socks, paper bags, felt, cloth, or popsicle sticks. Make a stage and tell stories. Get out the video camera and capture your child's brilliance!
Musical Instruments
Whether your musical instruments are home-made with a comb and wax paper or store bought, making music is a wonderful way to spend the day. Teach your child that music can be made from anything, from an old oatmeal container, to scratching two pieces of sandpaper together. Go on a walk and just listen to the sounds of the world -- music is everywhere in our lives.
Dress-up Clothes
Get out old prom dresses, big hats, shirts and ties, old Halloween costumes (or buy extra pieces after Halloween for year-round fun!). Bring out a box of costumes and watch the shows with your children as the stars. Keep a camera handy to capture the fun. Also, keep an eye on the pets. Cats don't always appreciate wearing a sombrero. Trust me, I have the scars to prove it!
Doll-houses
There is nothing more fun than watching your child make up stories as the family members move around in a doll house. Plus, if it is a wooden dollhouse, there is the added benefit of decorating it with some wallpaper scraps and carpet remnants! Your dollhouse could be a family heirloom if you put enough love into it.
In the Kitchen
Kids love to play Kitchen, whether it is mixing air, or getting to play with food. Give your child a great time by giving them safe kitchen utensils to play with in the bathtub. Mixing, pouring, and scooping bubbles and water entertains my children long enough for them to look pruny. Or for a fun alternative, give them puffed rice cereal and some bowls and utensils on the kitchen floor. Just plan to vacuum afterwards as there'll be quite a wonderful mess!
About the Author
Nicole is the mostly-sane mom behind http://www.showmomthemoney.com/ . Nicole also owns http://www.showkidsthefun.com/ - a fun site to inspire parents to keep the lines of communication open with their children.
Top 10 Ways to Lead an American Renaissance
by Stephen Palmer
America is at a crossroads, a momentous point in history infinitely more critical than anything Rome, Greece, or the ancient Israelites ever faced because of how much our decisions impact the rest of humanity.
However, Americans can and will conquer any challenge, no matter how difficult or even if it is self-imposed. As Thomas Jefferson wrote, "It is a part of the American character to consider nothing as desperate, to surmount every difficulty by resolution and contrivance."
With this in mind, here are the ten most important things that average Americans can do to ensure that our current decline doesn't engulf us and last interminably.
10. Read at least one classic a month.
According to George Wythe College, "Classics are original works of depth and substance--writing, painting, sculpture, philosophy, music, theory, law, etc.--that engage the student in the great questions of life. Works that have wide application and scope, they offer valuable ideas to a variety of cultures and times, and can be applied to nations as well as communities, families and individuals. These timeless works change us and ask the hard questions that cut to the core of human nature and human institutions."
Study the nature and anatomy of freedom through classics. Learn what it takes to preserve and promote freedom for yourself and your posterity.
9. Discuss the classics you read with groups of your peers on a regular basis.
Similar groups were formed long before the American Revolution erupted, and they had an integral role in shaping the views and direction of the entire populace. As Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
8. Keep entertainment in proper perspective.
We're flooded with an infinite variety of ways to divert us from our highest potential and purpose. When entertainment becomes excessive, it prevents us from living the ideals necessary to sustain freedom.
7. Raise a family worth emulating.
Love and serve your family. Be true to your spouse, be kind and inspiring to and patient with your children. Take responsibility for the education of your children. Build America from the inside out with the solid bricks of family values and relationships.
6. Forgive those who have wronged you.
World peace will never be achieved until individuals become conscious of their own contribution to or detraction from that goal.
5. Be a person of integrity.
Keep your word, no matter how difficult, no matter how tempting it may be to follow the crowd and become casual. Do what you say you will do. Live what you say you believe.
4. Be vigilant about how you spend your private time.
The ultimate measure of a person's integrity is how they act when they are absolutely alone, and what they do when no one else will ever know. It is the quiet moments spent in solitude that determine if you are true to what you say you believe in.
3. Become a constitutional scholar.
Know the Constitution backward and forward. Study its foundations. Study the works that its creators read. Learn what habeas corpus, bills of attainder, and ex post facto laws are. Learn what the different branches of government are authorized to do, and prohibited from doing. Know the intended balance between the States and the Federal Government.
2. Live your mission.
Discover, develop, and utilize your natural gifts and abilities. Do what you were born to do, even if it takes quitting your current job. Live the spirit of providence in your life. In the words of Steve Farber, "Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do."
And the number one way to lead an American Renaissance is...
1. Become "One Who Goes Before."
Remember your heritage and follow the example of those who have gone before to pave the way for us. Pay them back by paying the debt forward and preparing the way for your posterity to follow you.
About the Author
Stephen Palmer is a writer, entrepreneur, teacher, and scholar on a mission to lead a renaissance in American culture and move the Cause of Liberty in the 21st Century. For more information and to contact him, visit The Cause of Liberty.
America is at a crossroads, a momentous point in history infinitely more critical than anything Rome, Greece, or the ancient Israelites ever faced because of how much our decisions impact the rest of humanity.
However, Americans can and will conquer any challenge, no matter how difficult or even if it is self-imposed. As Thomas Jefferson wrote, "It is a part of the American character to consider nothing as desperate, to surmount every difficulty by resolution and contrivance."
With this in mind, here are the ten most important things that average Americans can do to ensure that our current decline doesn't engulf us and last interminably.
10. Read at least one classic a month.
According to George Wythe College, "Classics are original works of depth and substance--writing, painting, sculpture, philosophy, music, theory, law, etc.--that engage the student in the great questions of life. Works that have wide application and scope, they offer valuable ideas to a variety of cultures and times, and can be applied to nations as well as communities, families and individuals. These timeless works change us and ask the hard questions that cut to the core of human nature and human institutions."
Study the nature and anatomy of freedom through classics. Learn what it takes to preserve and promote freedom for yourself and your posterity.
9. Discuss the classics you read with groups of your peers on a regular basis.
Similar groups were formed long before the American Revolution erupted, and they had an integral role in shaping the views and direction of the entire populace. As Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
8. Keep entertainment in proper perspective.
We're flooded with an infinite variety of ways to divert us from our highest potential and purpose. When entertainment becomes excessive, it prevents us from living the ideals necessary to sustain freedom.
7. Raise a family worth emulating.
Love and serve your family. Be true to your spouse, be kind and inspiring to and patient with your children. Take responsibility for the education of your children. Build America from the inside out with the solid bricks of family values and relationships.
6. Forgive those who have wronged you.
World peace will never be achieved until individuals become conscious of their own contribution to or detraction from that goal.
5. Be a person of integrity.
Keep your word, no matter how difficult, no matter how tempting it may be to follow the crowd and become casual. Do what you say you will do. Live what you say you believe.
4. Be vigilant about how you spend your private time.
The ultimate measure of a person's integrity is how they act when they are absolutely alone, and what they do when no one else will ever know. It is the quiet moments spent in solitude that determine if you are true to what you say you believe in.
3. Become a constitutional scholar.
Know the Constitution backward and forward. Study its foundations. Study the works that its creators read. Learn what habeas corpus, bills of attainder, and ex post facto laws are. Learn what the different branches of government are authorized to do, and prohibited from doing. Know the intended balance between the States and the Federal Government.
2. Live your mission.
Discover, develop, and utilize your natural gifts and abilities. Do what you were born to do, even if it takes quitting your current job. Live the spirit of providence in your life. In the words of Steve Farber, "Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do."
And the number one way to lead an American Renaissance is...
1. Become "One Who Goes Before."
Remember your heritage and follow the example of those who have gone before to pave the way for us. Pay them back by paying the debt forward and preparing the way for your posterity to follow you.
About the Author
Stephen Palmer is a writer, entrepreneur, teacher, and scholar on a mission to lead a renaissance in American culture and move the Cause of Liberty in the 21st Century. For more information and to contact him, visit The Cause of Liberty.
A Disturbing Reminder of What We Are Becoming...and Why Family Values Are Soooo Important!
Who Am I? The Question of Violence
By Gina Stepp
"In violence, we forget who we are," said American novelist Mary McCarthy.
If these words are true, we may be facing a generation of children who, despite the number of profile pages they may have on MySpace or Bebo, are increasingly missing a sense of identity.
"Violent Youth Crime up a Third" asserts a January headline in the online U.K. Telegraph. Beneath this header are statistics illustrating that between 2003 and 2006 the number of violent crimes committed by British youth has increased by 37 percent. While this figure may be difficult to believe, it does seem to be borne out by news reports. Here are a few stories dug up in a two-week period during the first month of 2008:
January 2, 2008: A father of two [52-year-old Ron Sharples] dies after being assaulted by a group of youths while out looking for the family dog.
January 3, 2008: Eric Mitchell, 43, suffers horrific injuries after being hit over the head with a paving slab by a gang of teens. He believes he was then beaten as he lay unconscious on the ground in Trowbridge, Cardiff.
January 16, 2008: A British court finds three teens guilty of murdering 47-year-old Garry Newlove. The father of three had stepped out of his home to speak to a group of teenagers who, he believed, had been vandalizing his wife's car. The teens kicked him to death.
Unfortunately, the U.K. is not the only nation suffering an increase in youth violence, and perhaps surprisingly, teen males are not the only perpetrators. According to American FBI figures, in 1996 girls accounted for only 10 percent of all violent juvenile arrests. By 2002, however, 24 percent of juvenile arrests for aggravated assault were girls, as were 32 percent of other levels of assaults.
Does this mean the nature of girls is changing? Are females becoming as violent as boys? Lyn Mikel Brown, Meda Chesney-Lind and Nan Stein propose in the journal, Violence Against Women (Vol 13, No. 12; 2007) that "steep increases in girls' arrests are not the product of girls becoming more like boys. Instead, forms of girls' minor violence that were once ignored are now being criminalized."
While girls may not be completely abandoning their nature, whatever one might consider that to be, it's hard to believe that the increase in female juvenile arrests is entirely attributable to "minor violence" suddenly becoming criminalized.
When in the past would the following incidents have been considered "minor" violence?
February 4, 2008: At a bus station in Chelles, France about twenty 15- and 16-year-old girls meet for a rumble. They carry an assortment of weapons that include screwdrivers, bedboards, iron bars and steak knives. Warned by school staff, authorities intervene shortly after the first blows are delivered and arrest eight of the ringleaders. But fellow students say a rematch has already been planned.
The same day in Halifax, Nova Scotia, two teenage girls are sentenced for a crime they committed the previous summer. Apparently, using metal table legs as clubs, the girls had waylaid a 66-year-old woman as she walked through Halifax Common and beat her repeatedly, leaving her with a broken rib and severe bruising.
January 14, 2008: In West Philadelphia, 10 girls attack two other female teens who are waiting for a school bus. Using what is either a box cutter or a straight-edge razor, the attackers slash 15-year-old Shakia West, severely wounding her in the face.
January 10, 2008 In Des Moines, Iowa, a 15-year-old girl is sentenced for a murder. Four months earlier, she had plunged a knife repeatedly into the neck of a 16-year-old acquaintance who died at the hospital soon after the stabbing. When the Judge asked what had provoked the killing, the girl answered, "I stabbed him after I lost my temper and he called me disrespectful names".
If Brown, Chesney-Lind and Stein are correct and girls have always been this way, one can only muse that it's about time such behavior became criminalized, just as it should be for boys. However, if they have not always been this way, why do we see, internationally, such increases in youth violence? Why have so many teens forgotten who they are?
"Almost every day the news carries a story about a stabbing or shooting perpetrated by the young on those more vulnerable", says Vision publisher David Hulme in a recent article titled "Rediscovering the Language of Values". He adds, "It seems obvious that an increasingly materialistic, self-absorbed and morally ambivalent society is failing its children."
On the other hand, wonders the American Psychological Association (APA) on their Web site, "Is youth violence just another fact of life? Are some children just prone to violence?"
To rephrase: Is society really failing its children, or can we place the blame on genetics or emotional immaturity?
As the APA answers its own rhetorical question, Hulme gains an ally. "There is no gene for violence", say these experts, "violence is a learned behavior, and it is often learned in the home or the community from parents, family members, or friends".
Children learn best from people with whom they have secure emotional connections. Neuroscience now confirms what psychologists, parents, theologians and teachers have known all along: strong family relationships and good role models contribute to the formation of the brain, mind, personality and character.
"Mirroring" is one of the first teaching tools available to children. From infancy, we imitate others around us, and each mirroring episode makes a particular neural connection that much stronger. If our role models are compassionate caretakers, we learn compassion and empathy.
But when children experience negligence or witness violent acts, they are more likely to become aggressive and to consider violence an appropriate response when they are angry. As the APA puts it, "The home is the most fertile breeding place for this situation".
In other words, what a child hears, observes and learns in the home is of critical importance.
Hulme writes that among other factors missing in this arena are the building blocks of moral teaching: what he calls the language of values and the terms of ethical discourse.
The APA concurs. "The process by which violence is taught is circular", it says. "It begins in the family, expanding through the culture of the larger society in which a child grows and matures and then again is reinforced or discouraged in the family".
Because we know there is no gene for violence, a society with a violent youth culture must therefore ask some searching questions. Do we as parents know who we are? Do we spend enough time with our children to pass along this understanding? Do our children know who they are?
If they don't, perhaps we are failing our children. And a society that fails its children fails itself.
About the Author
Gina Stepp is a writer and editor with a strong interest in education and the science that underpins family and relationship studies. She began working toward a Journalism major and Psychology minor at the University of Central Florida before moving to California where she completed her BA in Theology in 1985. To contact Gina Stepp, please email at ginastepp@earthlink.net.
By Gina Stepp
"In violence, we forget who we are," said American novelist Mary McCarthy.
If these words are true, we may be facing a generation of children who, despite the number of profile pages they may have on MySpace or Bebo, are increasingly missing a sense of identity.
"Violent Youth Crime up a Third" asserts a January headline in the online U.K. Telegraph. Beneath this header are statistics illustrating that between 2003 and 2006 the number of violent crimes committed by British youth has increased by 37 percent. While this figure may be difficult to believe, it does seem to be borne out by news reports. Here are a few stories dug up in a two-week period during the first month of 2008:
January 2, 2008: A father of two [52-year-old Ron Sharples] dies after being assaulted by a group of youths while out looking for the family dog.
January 3, 2008: Eric Mitchell, 43, suffers horrific injuries after being hit over the head with a paving slab by a gang of teens. He believes he was then beaten as he lay unconscious on the ground in Trowbridge, Cardiff.
January 16, 2008: A British court finds three teens guilty of murdering 47-year-old Garry Newlove. The father of three had stepped out of his home to speak to a group of teenagers who, he believed, had been vandalizing his wife's car. The teens kicked him to death.
Unfortunately, the U.K. is not the only nation suffering an increase in youth violence, and perhaps surprisingly, teen males are not the only perpetrators. According to American FBI figures, in 1996 girls accounted for only 10 percent of all violent juvenile arrests. By 2002, however, 24 percent of juvenile arrests for aggravated assault were girls, as were 32 percent of other levels of assaults.
Does this mean the nature of girls is changing? Are females becoming as violent as boys? Lyn Mikel Brown, Meda Chesney-Lind and Nan Stein propose in the journal, Violence Against Women (Vol 13, No. 12; 2007) that "steep increases in girls' arrests are not the product of girls becoming more like boys. Instead, forms of girls' minor violence that were once ignored are now being criminalized."
While girls may not be completely abandoning their nature, whatever one might consider that to be, it's hard to believe that the increase in female juvenile arrests is entirely attributable to "minor violence" suddenly becoming criminalized.
When in the past would the following incidents have been considered "minor" violence?
February 4, 2008: At a bus station in Chelles, France about twenty 15- and 16-year-old girls meet for a rumble. They carry an assortment of weapons that include screwdrivers, bedboards, iron bars and steak knives. Warned by school staff, authorities intervene shortly after the first blows are delivered and arrest eight of the ringleaders. But fellow students say a rematch has already been planned.
The same day in Halifax, Nova Scotia, two teenage girls are sentenced for a crime they committed the previous summer. Apparently, using metal table legs as clubs, the girls had waylaid a 66-year-old woman as she walked through Halifax Common and beat her repeatedly, leaving her with a broken rib and severe bruising.
January 14, 2008: In West Philadelphia, 10 girls attack two other female teens who are waiting for a school bus. Using what is either a box cutter or a straight-edge razor, the attackers slash 15-year-old Shakia West, severely wounding her in the face.
January 10, 2008 In Des Moines, Iowa, a 15-year-old girl is sentenced for a murder. Four months earlier, she had plunged a knife repeatedly into the neck of a 16-year-old acquaintance who died at the hospital soon after the stabbing. When the Judge asked what had provoked the killing, the girl answered, "I stabbed him after I lost my temper and he called me disrespectful names".
If Brown, Chesney-Lind and Stein are correct and girls have always been this way, one can only muse that it's about time such behavior became criminalized, just as it should be for boys. However, if they have not always been this way, why do we see, internationally, such increases in youth violence? Why have so many teens forgotten who they are?
"Almost every day the news carries a story about a stabbing or shooting perpetrated by the young on those more vulnerable", says Vision publisher David Hulme in a recent article titled "Rediscovering the Language of Values". He adds, "It seems obvious that an increasingly materialistic, self-absorbed and morally ambivalent society is failing its children."
On the other hand, wonders the American Psychological Association (APA) on their Web site, "Is youth violence just another fact of life? Are some children just prone to violence?"
To rephrase: Is society really failing its children, or can we place the blame on genetics or emotional immaturity?
As the APA answers its own rhetorical question, Hulme gains an ally. "There is no gene for violence", say these experts, "violence is a learned behavior, and it is often learned in the home or the community from parents, family members, or friends".
Children learn best from people with whom they have secure emotional connections. Neuroscience now confirms what psychologists, parents, theologians and teachers have known all along: strong family relationships and good role models contribute to the formation of the brain, mind, personality and character.
"Mirroring" is one of the first teaching tools available to children. From infancy, we imitate others around us, and each mirroring episode makes a particular neural connection that much stronger. If our role models are compassionate caretakers, we learn compassion and empathy.
But when children experience negligence or witness violent acts, they are more likely to become aggressive and to consider violence an appropriate response when they are angry. As the APA puts it, "The home is the most fertile breeding place for this situation".
In other words, what a child hears, observes and learns in the home is of critical importance.
Hulme writes that among other factors missing in this arena are the building blocks of moral teaching: what he calls the language of values and the terms of ethical discourse.
The APA concurs. "The process by which violence is taught is circular", it says. "It begins in the family, expanding through the culture of the larger society in which a child grows and matures and then again is reinforced or discouraged in the family".
Because we know there is no gene for violence, a society with a violent youth culture must therefore ask some searching questions. Do we as parents know who we are? Do we spend enough time with our children to pass along this understanding? Do our children know who they are?
If they don't, perhaps we are failing our children. And a society that fails its children fails itself.
About the Author
Gina Stepp is a writer and editor with a strong interest in education and the science that underpins family and relationship studies. She began working toward a Journalism major and Psychology minor at the University of Central Florida before moving to California where she completed her BA in Theology in 1985. To contact Gina Stepp, please email at ginastepp@earthlink.net.
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